So, here’s the thing

I’m finally figuring out what I want to do with myself, with my future, I’ve made a path I hope to follow for the next few years, and I suppose I shall see what happens from there. I’ve never been happier. However, I’ve noticed recently something is missing from this path, something that plays a major role in my life, or at least will do at some point. 

Over the past 18 months, I’ve made many discoveries with myself, who I am, who I want to be, and what makes me happiest. I’ve travelled, explored, disappeared from everything, to give myself the space I need to figure myself out. Time is helpful, but never good enough. I know I am on my way to discovery, and actually I feel pretty close to the end of the rainbow, but I still feel this kind of emptiness right inside of me. Within this time; I’ve fallen in love, and yes I mean love, not some childhood sweetheart, but I fell for a girl like I didn’t know was ever possible, I’ve been heartbroken, yes by the same girl, over and over in fact, I’ve tried new things, I’ve been with girls and boys, boys and girls, all with the idea that by the end of it, I’d know what I want, what makes me happy. 

So, here’s the thing, I don’t know what my future holds, merely because of my current situation with family, but also because I don’t know how things might change as I grow, but I do know what makes me happiest now. In actual fact, I want to be with a girl, how do I know this? Because it’s in my heart, I can feel it, my past relationships have taught me happiness and what it feels like, and I know that I am happier with a girl, that’s just the way it is. My family will all have it coming for them, because sooner or later I am going to tell them. But however they decide to react, I know that everything is going to be ok, because I have my bestfriend, my sister, and I’m doing it for myself, im making myself happy, that’s the thing, I’m going to make myself happy.

Sprinkle glitter on the bland x

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Author: Glitter and Bland

A somewhat inspired young girl, embarking upon the emergence of adulthood, touching the non-fictional world of wonder as an army of one.

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