Freedom, the power to behave as one wants.

Freedom, yes, I believe that is the colossal sensation I feel curdling up inside of me. Freedom, certainly not the most commonly utilized abstract noun within my personal dictionary. However right now, right now I feel I may have come to terms with the expression itself, so much so I might just be understanding how to give life to the term, to live ‘freedom’ within myself. 

Something happened today, something so small to some that it may be forgotten, but to me, it particularly had an impact. I was lending a helping hand at school, selling the  newly designed uniform to our juniors, when I learnt exactly what the new uniform was. Our school are selling skirts and trousers for both boys and girls. Forget gender stereotypes, our school, though only small, is making a difference to society. Just one small step portraying equal rights across genders, is another closer step towards freedom. And that truly put a smile on my face. 

Today really made me contemplate my life, and the decisions I make. This evening I chose to watch the movie ‘The Perks of being a Wallflower’. What an incredible story to tell. Truly, I have never felt so emotionally attached to a film, or more inspired. Freedom can take us anywhere, wherever we want to be, where we want our journey to take us, it will, because the motion of freedom gives us the power to behave however the heck we want.

Sprinkle glitter on the bland.

xox D 

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So, here’s the thing

I’m finally figuring out what I want to do with myself, with my future, I’ve made a path I hope to follow for the next few years, and I suppose I shall see what happens from there. I’ve never been happier. However, I’ve noticed recently something is missing from this path, something that plays a major role in my life, or at least will do at some point. 

Over the past 18 months, I’ve made many discoveries with myself, who I am, who I want to be, and what makes me happiest. I’ve travelled, explored, disappeared from everything, to give myself the space I need to figure myself out. Time is helpful, but never good enough. I know I am on my way to discovery, and actually I feel pretty close to the end of the rainbow, but I still feel this kind of emptiness right inside of me. Within this time; I’ve fallen in love, and yes I mean love, not some childhood sweetheart, but I fell for a girl like I didn’t know was ever possible, I’ve been heartbroken, yes by the same girl, over and over in fact, I’ve tried new things, I’ve been with girls and boys, boys and girls, all with the idea that by the end of it, I’d know what I want, what makes me happy. 

So, here’s the thing, I don’t know what my future holds, merely because of my current situation with family, but also because I don’t know how things might change as I grow, but I do know what makes me happiest now. In actual fact, I want to be with a girl, how do I know this? Because it’s in my heart, I can feel it, my past relationships have taught me happiness and what it feels like, and I know that I am happier with a girl, that’s just the way it is. My family will all have it coming for them, because sooner or later I am going to tell them. But however they decide to react, I know that everything is going to be ok, because I have my bestfriend, my sister, and I’m doing it for myself, im making myself happy, that’s the thing, I’m going to make myself happy.

Sprinkle glitter on the bland x